He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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