I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
