I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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