It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drake has all the answers
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
