he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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