Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
