I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
