If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
