The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
