youre lurking in front of me
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
