we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
