I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm passing your future prison.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
