if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
