Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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