There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
