Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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