No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
