We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A bitchslap is in order.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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