I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
