If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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