You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
