Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Randomize
