I think im going to throw up on grandma
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
