You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
