I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
