Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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