quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
