You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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