..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
