I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
