I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
