Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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