she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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