her facebook's as public as her vagina
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
