I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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