i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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