You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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