as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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