Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This toilet bowl is my home.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
