when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
