And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
