The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
