you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
