Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
