im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
