Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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