this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
