His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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