i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
