I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
