What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
