Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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